


Spend Your $$$

by winterpillowtalk



Series: One Direction vs. Boring Jobs [4]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Alternate Universe - No One Direction, Alternate Universe - Retail, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterpillowtalk/pseuds/winterpillowtalk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weird things always happened when Harry was at work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spend Your $$$

Poundland was the life and soul of many high streets across Britain. They brought people together, helped form friendships, which quickly turned into something more. Harry had seen many a proposal in his humble store, the most memorable one was when someone popped the question among the cooking utensil section with a frying pan. Luckily, the girl said yes, albeit a little uncertainly. Harry was sure he could remember the man serenading her with a song about her favourite kitchen appliance: the hand whisk. It was a bizarre display of affection, but Harry tried his best not to judge the couple too much.

The shop was quickly filling up as it reached midday. People rushed around the floor, collecting their items before making their way to the checkouts. Harry leaned back against his chair, watching the people walk around the aisles, throwing random items into shopping baskets. He often wonder what people were planning to do with a can of beans, some plant pots and a S Club 7 album, but he couldn’t get himself to ask the customer – he could tell it would have been an odd answer, anyway.

Someone approached his till, an unusual bag in his hand. Harry lifted an eyebrow, waiting for some kind of explanation. He didn’t recognise the man in front of him; he definitely wasn’t a regular customer. The man still hadn’t given him a reason for the Mystery Bag, so he gestured to it, making the stranger give him a weirdly large smile.

“I’m setting up a stall in this shop,” the man said, looking very serious all of a sudden. Harry gave him a confused look. The store was packed; there wasn’t any room for another shelf never mind a stall. Plus, Harry was sure that setting up an independent shop in a high street retailer wasn’t allowed, or sensible. Why was the man asking this? Was he okay? Why was he still grinning at Harry? Should he get the police involved? He didn’t know.

“You want to _what_?” Harry asked dumbly, starting to doubt that he’d heard correctly.

The man rolled his eyes, sighing. Harry hoped he wasn’t getting irritated at him. He didn’t know what the stranger would do if he was proposing to set up a stall within a shop. “I want to sell these shirts in this shop. Got it?” the man said, not sounding too pleased – the smile as gone from his lips, too.

From all the years of customer service training, Harry was not prepared for this. He looked around, searching for another work colleague – he was sure Zayn would be able to figure it out, and fix the situation (even if it was temporary). Harry stammered out a couple of words before getting off his seat to walk to the backroom. Zayn was always there, hiding from his responsibilities and problems. Harry related.

When he barged through the door, Zayn was sat in front of a small mirror, doing his hair. Harry watched for a couple of seconds, seeing his co-worker style a perfect piece of hair to fall just in front of his eye. Harry didn’t know how he did it, but he guessed it was magic. Everything Zayn did was magic, including getting rid of an annoying costumer.

Harry placed his hand on Zayn’s shoulder, making the other man jump and poke himself in his eye. He swore, making Harry gasp aloud – Harry was very anti-swearing, he’d even set up a Swear Box. Thanks to Zayn inability to control his language, they’d already raised close to fifty pounds to go towards their annual trip to Toys R Us to gaze at the bikes none of them could either afford, or fit on.

“Gosh, Zayn,” Harry said, sounding disappointed. “You need to get rid of someone on the shop floor, they want to start selling their own shirts and I don’t know what do to.”

Zayn suddenly looked up at Harry, something glinting in his eyes. “I’ve done this before,” he said, standing up from the chair. Harry was lost, had someone else tried to sell goods in Poundland? “Not like this, though... not like this.” He stormed out of the room, his hair still everywhere – but it was a style, and Zayn was always up to date with the latest fads.

It only took Zayn a couple of seconds until he started to quarrel with the man. Harry could hear the odd word, but nothing made sense. He edged towards the arguing people, standing next to Zayn as closely as he could. Zayn would always punch someone if he was threatened, much like a scared animal. Harry remembered the time his workmate hit a cow because it was in his way, it was a weird time.

“ _Where_ would you set up a stand in this shop?” Zayn asked, raising his arms in the air.

“Over in the corner, near the pens.” The man pointed to the area in question, a pleased expression on his face. Harry snorted; he thought Zayn would let him? If only. It took him months of begging to be able to even enter the storeroom, and even then he needed Zayn to be with him constantly. He had no idea what Zayn thought he’d do back that. Perhaps that was where he kept all his hair products – it was the only logical explanation.

“There isn’t any room and we can’t have any independent sellers on this property.”

The man gasped, sounding far too shocked at being refused for his stupid request. He covered his face with his hands, breathing deeply. Zayn shot Harry a confused look, but all he could do was shrug his shoulders. “Do you know who I am?” the man asked, uncovering his face for half a second. His tone was different this time – it was colder. Harry became concerned for everyone’s wellbeing.

“No,” Zayn said, not sounding impressed by the man’s attitude.

“I am Louis Tomlinson, _world famous_ fashion designer.” Harry saw Zayn roll his eyes at the comment, but the man – Louis – didn’t notice, only carrying on with his speech. “I thought I’d come and bless your god-awful store with my glorious shirts, but you evidently don’t want them. I even set up my own stall, saving you all the time. If I’m honest, I’ve been quite fair to you all.”

Zayn, who still looked sceptical, raised an eyebrow. Harry could tell he was intrigued by him. “Fine,” Zayn said, resigned. “Show me the shirts.” It was clear that he was only going along with it to appease the man before he called the police (or the army) to get him away from them. Although Louis didn’t look dangerous, the two of them knew he would make a scene if he was denied any longer. Besides, someone yelling over the beautiful singing of Bananarama wasn’t anything Harry wasn’t to experience any time soon.

Louis grinned, opening up the bag and putting a couple of shirts on the countertop. Harry squinted his eyes as he tried to figure out what the ugly coloured shape was on the front. It resembled something like an elephant, he thought, but he couldn’t be certain. The colour was the worst part about it; shades of blue, orange and purple were dotted around the black outline, all attempting to come together in one mass of murky brown.

It was obvious that Zayn had no idea what the blob was, so he called over Liam. Happy to oblige, Liam walked over from the other till to stare down at the shirt on the surface. He had to cough a couple of times to mask a laugh, but the tears that started to form in his eyes quickly gave him away.

“Are you laughing at my shirts?” Louis snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at Liam. “I’ll have you know I am a very serious artist, as you can see by these masterpieces!”

“Where are these masterpieces then?” Liam asked, smirking. “Underneath this mess?” Without another thought, Liam pushed the football shirts off the surface, watching them as they fluttered to the dirty floor.

“Liam!” Harry said in horror. However, despite Harry’s shock, Zayn also knocked the other item onto the floor. “Zayn!” he said, bending down to pick up the clothes on the floor. He may not have liked them, but if Louis was as famous as he said, he didn’t want to ruin such... unique things.

Liam was still chuckling as Zayn tried to regain some kind of composure. “I don’t care how famous you are Mr. Tomlinson, but you’re not allowed to sell them here.”

Louis switched his attention to Zayn, giving him a stony look. They fell into an awkward silence, none of them knowing what to say next. Harry ended up gazing around the store, wondering why no one was at the registers yet. Maybe Louis was giving off a weird scent to repel customers; much like a skunk did to protect itself.

“The only way you can stop me from selling my items in this shop is if someone from outer space comes down right now.” Louis looked smug, knowing that it wasn’t possible to do. Everyone knew that aliens didn’t exist, and even if they did, the likelihood of one appearing at that very second was nonexistent. He believed that he’d won the argument, letting him sell his fabulous tops to everyone. If only his future customers knew how lucky they were – everyone would be selling body parts for a genuine shirt by him in the next ten years.

“That’s-“ Harry managed to say before he was cut off by a loud bang, followed by a scream and someone falling. All four of them spun around, trying to work out what had happened as the staff rushed towards the scene.

People were circling the place where something fell from the ceiling, only making it harder for Zayn to get there. He sashayed though the mass of people, swearing loudly when he saw what had happened.

Harry did a small fist pump; another pound was added to their Toys R Us Fund.

When Liam and Harry got to Zayn’s side, they stopped in their tracks. Liam’s mouth fell open at the sight, and Harry started to weep hysterically.

“Niall?” Harry said between sobs, walking through the pile of rubble. “It’s been eight years, where have you _been_?” He wrapped his friend up in a tight hug, almost suffocating him in the process.

“It’s okay, Hazza,” Niall whispered, pushing is friend off him. “I was in space with the Martians!”

The whole shop went silent at Niall’s confession, but Zayn distinctly heard Louis’ high-pitched scream echo through the building. His outrageous plan to get his way had failed, and he couldn’t believe it.

“For eight years?” Harry asked, sounding shocked. “What did you do up there? How are you still _breathing_?”

Niall laughed awkwardly, not making eye contact with anyone. “Well, remember the girl who owned that cheese shop down the road at one point?” he asked, finally looking up at his old friends. When they all nodded, he continued. “She was up there too, it was so weird. I’ve eaten just cheese for the last eight years, but I’ve never felt more alive!”

Zayn let out a revolted shriek. “How dare you eat my cheese,” he cried. “It’s the love of my life, the thing that keeps me going in times of need. Don’t you understand how perfect my mouldy chunks of milk are?”

“Shut up,” Liam hissed, slapping Zayn’s upper arm to stop him going into cheese induced hysteria. Zayn managed to stop his rant midsentence by biting his hand to prevent him from speaking any further.

“All you did was eat cheese?” came another voice. Harry looked over his shoulder to see Louis, his bags in hand with a sorry expression on his face. “Cheese in space?”

Niall clapped his hands together in excitement. No one had ever seen the man so overjoyed about anything before, and it was rather sickening to see. “This cheese was _engraved.”_

“What did you have written on yours?” Zayn asked, genuinely curious.

“The lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up, but missing the vowels,” Niall said happily, smiling to himself as he recalled the memory.

“Nvr Gnn Gv Y p?”

“Yes,” he replied. “It was great.” Niall gestured for them all the follow as he took a couple of cautious steps away from the debris and ceiling insulation. Harry, Liam, Zayn and Louis went with him, copying his path until they reached the backroom again. Niall opened the door and held it open for the four people, waiting for them to get inside. “I’ll tell you the rest in here,” he said, closing the door behind them.

Niall talked about his Space Adventures, and they were very adventurous to say the least. He recalled the time he had to fight off a bear with a cactus which was living in one of the crevasses on Mars, along with hundreds of other stories about him fracking on Mars, only to end up punching David Cameron in the face via Skype because he wanted to take the oil from him. Niall wasn’t going to let anyone take his precious Mars Oil, not even Spoonface.

Niall’s space escapade was something none of them were going to forget any time soon.


End file.
